You've stolen my heart, yes You have...

Driving home from class tonight I wanted to drive my car into a wall. However with my luck I would have lived and would have had massive medical bills and once again be in need of a new car. [I did not crash my first car on purpose-do not get me wrong.] I just wanted or rather needed something..anything, I'm just not sure what. While I was thinking about driving into a wall the most prominent thought in my head was that I was hungry. There must be something wrong with that, I'm sure.

My fat thunder thighs have struck again. Another pair of nice jeans have a fatty hole worn into them in the crotch-al area. It makes me very sad. I hate this so very much.

I told Danny that I want to be a librarian at a Christian school. I thought that would be pretty cool. However my knowledge of the Bible leaves something to be desired. That just means that I have a lot to learn I guess. What am I to do?

In my opinion God needs to speak to me like a laymen. Break everything down for me like that so I can understand Him and do as He wants. I really just want to cry.

I have a feeling that I am never going to get the hang of knitting. I keep trying though. I am waiting for my movies from Netflix on knitting. That should be interesting. They have all sorts of stuff on there.

I feel like I am too concerned with myself rather than others. Danny says that I have a very kind heart. He's sweet like that. Always telling me how great I am and pointing out when I am helping others.

A few weeks ago in book club Ryan and Ernie mentioned a version of the Bible that is in chronological order of when it happened. I didn't write down the name of it before I forgot it so now I am trying to figure it out any way I can. Google wasn't much help but I have just recently (today in CIS 110) that Yahoo has several million more hits than Google does sometimes. I will have to try my search again.

A few months back a girl that Kelli was friends with was living in my old room. It has come to my attention that she had magazines sent to the house and since she in no longer a residence of that house I get them! Yay! This is something cool I found from Woman's Day. I am very excited to it out.





Here are the links if anyone is interested in them:

http://www.womansday.com/Recipes/Spiderweb-Pizzas

and

http://www.womansday.com/Recipes/Creepy-Cupcakes

Here is the main page for the "Devilish Delights" if you so desire:

http://www.womansday.com/Articles/Food/Recipes/Devilish-Delights.html


Despite looking at the delicious pizza I am still so very depressed and just want to cry. However I am a big girl, and big girls don't cry.

I only have one chocolate cupcake left from my mommy's birthday and despite the longing I have to eat it I feel that I must save it for tomorrow when things are worse. Yes, I do expect things to get worse before they even begin to look better.

One thing that I have to look forward to is making Halloween cookies with one of my best friend's Jacci . She is such an inspiration.

Currently I am listening to "Forest Light". It's a "natural harmony collection", basically just nice relaxing music. Some rain falling, some flutes playing. Really amazing stuff. It helps to block out Danny absurdly loud friend's when they are over to play DnD or Vamp. Sometimes I have headphone on other times I just play it through the speakers. Yet somehow Bryan's ridiculously obnoxious laugh can still break through. Ungodly.

Time to find something more productive to do with my time. Goodnight.