My poor Danny. This weekend is certainly taking its tole on him. Emotions are going ramped I'm sure. Monday would be Connor's second birthday. I'm not sure how to help him other then just being there for him, which I guess is all I can really do. We went to a gathering people and drama. I don't like drama and I try to avoid it whenever possible. Obviously I can never completely avoid it but I do my best. Danny and I get home from grocery shopping and we are starting dinner and all of that stuff when he gets a phone call from Chico. He tells Danny that he needs to come pick up Bryan and take him home. Chico lives on the south side of town. We left Bryan there with no car for several reasons. We don't have gas or money for gas right now (next week or two???), he was drinking, he could just get a ride back from Chico when Chico came over for game night. It was planned out. Bryan doesn't abide by the plan. He got drunk and started trying to fight everyone. He pulled a knife on someone. He gets bad. He tells us that he used to be an alcoholic but I'm not so sure that it's entirely in the past. I just keep telling Danny "A few more months...just a few more months and it will just be the two of us."
Side note: I like Chris Tomlin. He has good songs. I should look at getting his cd or something!
Classes started last week. They are alright. So far there is a lot of reading which I would normally be okay with except that my eyes are failing me. I need to stop confessing that. My eyes are healed in Jesus name, I am just waiting for the manifestation of the flesh! Yikes! That's a mouthful...
By the way I am not going to mention that Barry is in town. Yes, I realize the contradiction I just provided you with but that right there is all that you are going to get out of me because he is no longer part of my life. Danny is; and just like Pastor Linda said I have Mr. Wonderful! I am not going to mess that up. She is so funny.
I'm really tired. I want Danny to come home with my car so that I can go to bed. Dinner was yummy even though he didn't get to enjoy it with me.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
I'll bring you more than a song...
These are the notes that I wrote down that I will be speaking on tonight at book club. I am a little bit nervous and a lot bit bummed that I might have to leave early for class. Book club is at 5:30 and class starts at 7:00 so hopefully I will have enough time! *crosses fingers*
The Kingdom of God in You
Chapter Five:
Demonstrating the Kingdom in a Corrupt World
The world's system is failing.
You can't get good fruit from a corrupt tree. If you try to live in the world's system you won't get the same benefits you would living in the Kingdom system. In fact if you live in the world's system you will end up losing more then you gain-the opposite of what God has planned for you. He wants to see us benefit and live rich, happy, healthy lives.
The devil will try to deceive you, he will do all in his power to see to it that you don't get what God has for you. Living in sin, not confessing good, but rather confessing evil or negative thoughts.
It's okay to have the negative thoughts but you must dismiss them as soon as they enter your head.
He can't deceive you if you have the Kingdom in you and are living in that system.
God may place you in a secular job knowing that you understand that you don't have to abide by the deceptive system. In fact you can change other's way of thinking by showing them the light of God.
God can not be tempted and He will not tempt you. The devil will try to tempt you like he tried to tempt Jesus in the desert after the fast, but we must be strong in the word of God like He was.
If Jesus can do it-we can do it! That's why He did these things in the first place. So we that we would know that we can achieve anything through God. Just like when He told the disciples to go out on the boat when a storm was coming to show them that they in fact could calm the wind and the rain. He wants to show that we can do the same things that He could.
We have the Holy Spirit in us!
When we are tempted we must not give in to it because when tempted we draw away from God by our lust and we are enticed. Lust leads to sin and sin leads to death.
Spiritual death not a physical death
We need to enter out of the world's system and plug into God's system to be a light into the darkness that is the place we reside.
We are delivered from sin, sickness, and oppression in the name of Jesus!
The devil wants you to believe that you were born “that way” and that you can't change. It's not true. God has great plans for us that don't include sin, sickness or anything that might ail you.
Jesus came to set us free from all of it. He is here to turn around everything Satan has done and all the evil that he has put in our lives and in our world.
It doesn't matter what your sin is or how long you have been in bondage to it- Jesus can set you free from it.
Silver and gold have I none; but such as I give I thee: In the same of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and walk. Acts 3:6
When the world's system collapses- and it will happen and soon- God's kingdom will prevail.
Worry not- we are protected.
God will remember your sins no more-stop reminding Him!
We are forgiven. God only counts the good now. We shall reign in Heaven and on Earth.
If the government goes against God's government stick with God's government
Daniel prayed openly to God even though there was a law set against it.
YOU CAN'T SERVE TO MASTERS!!! Pick God's team.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Praise to the King of Kings...
Why do I even bother? I just spent a lot of time over at my parent's house bleaching and washing the couch cover just to take it home and within 15 minutes Bryan is sitting on it in nothing but his boxers. It makes me so disgusted to have to look at it. When Danny and I watch movies out there I have to put blankets down just so I can stand to sit there. I'd ask Danny to tell him not to sit there without clothes on but it would be futile. Bryan doesn't listen to Danny, he has no respect. He thinks that he is superior to us. What a shame. We will be in our own place soon enough and we won't have to worry about lights being left on, the fridge being left open, food being eaten, kitchen and living room a mess, naked people on the couch--you know, the usual roommate things.
Are you anything like me? Is it possible all anybody needs is a little more love...
I long for the day when I don't have to hide my food in my room. I had to hide food from my sister and dad at my parent's house, I had to hide food (and toilet paper) at the old house, and now I have to hide my food from Bryan...because he will eat anything that isn't marked with a "K". I know that it sounds easy enough to mark everything "K" but it bugs me and then there would be nothing in the house without a "K". As it stands there are almost no groceries that aren't "K"ed or hidden away in a corner. He doesn't buy groceries. At all. Danny says that it's because he pays half the rent. Good excuse. I can't argue that because I don't contribute much funding. Danny talks about us living on our own as if it were a few months away. Which, with him working two jobs and me trying desperately to find a job that is willing to work around my classes AND church obligations, isn't too far off I suppose. It will be a small place to start off with of course, but it will be our place. Bryan free! I get very excited when I think about it... It's sad but true. It's funny but I think that once we don't live with Bryan the stupid Bryan voice that Danny does sometimes won't bug the living daylights out of me. He does this voice and every time that he does I find it very difficult to control myself, I want to slaughter things, and that's not like me at all. Gah! That man makes me so angry sometimes....
Enough of that angry..and on to another:
I wen to my parent's house to do some laundry because Danny had nothing clean to wear to church. I had planned on doing it after church but with nothing clean to wear I figured that I could just do it a day early. Or so I thought. My sister has got to be one of the most horrible human beings living on God's green earth. She says the most horrible things about me and to me... She told me today that I was brainwashed and that I belonged to a cult. A CULT!!! Can you believe that? I get mad and sad all at the same time. I could have punched her lights out but knowing her she would have called the cops on me and I would have to try to explain how she antagonizes until you feel absolutely helpless, hopeless even. I just kept praying that God would give me serenity and that I wouldn't punch her in the face. She yelled at me and made me feel so unwelcome that I left after one load. I will have to go back there tomorrow while she is at work to finish the rest. Depending on if I wake up in time and if I feel like going over there I might head over and start some before church even. My dad should be back some time tomorrow if nothing else and will tell her to calm down and that I am welcome in my own home any time that I so desire. Danny says that I need to stand up to her. He doesn't understand that I try but I don't know what else to do. He thinks that I should just tell her to piss off. It would be nice but it doesn't work that way. He doesn't have a sibling of the same sex so he doesn't fully get it. I'm sure that he's watched his sisters fight before but I don't know if their fights have ever been to this extreme.
Danny's mom wants to go out to lunch with me, go to a movie and look at rings. Wow. That's crazy.... I remember Barry's family trying to talk me out of dating him, not to mention marring him. It was sick. I'm staying at his aunt's house in CA and she is trying to get me to break up with him. Something not right with that family. Good thing I got out!
Danny's mom still doesn't want to have a church wedding. I think he said that she would go but that she wouldn't participate. At Connor's celebration of life, at a church, she just sat there and left early even. I know that really hurt Danny. I really don't need to deal or worry with her being upset that she's in a church on my wedding day. It's not about her, it's about us. I guess if it will make things easier we will have to find a much better outdoor venue then the one he used last time. Not a chance in hell am I getting married in the same place that he got married already. That would be sick.
I'm going to go pee and then go to bed. I don't really feel like waiting up for Danny anymore. He said soon half an hour ago so soon it shall be... Goodnight.
Enough of that angry..and on to another:
I wen to my parent's house to do some laundry because Danny had nothing clean to wear to church. I had planned on doing it after church but with nothing clean to wear I figured that I could just do it a day early. Or so I thought. My sister has got to be one of the most horrible human beings living on God's green earth. She says the most horrible things about me and to me... She told me today that I was brainwashed and that I belonged to a cult. A CULT!!! Can you believe that? I get mad and sad all at the same time. I could have punched her lights out but knowing her she would have called the cops on me and I would have to try to explain how she antagonizes until you feel absolutely helpless, hopeless even. I just kept praying that God would give me serenity and that I wouldn't punch her in the face. She yelled at me and made me feel so unwelcome that I left after one load. I will have to go back there tomorrow while she is at work to finish the rest. Depending on if I wake up in time and if I feel like going over there I might head over and start some before church even. My dad should be back some time tomorrow if nothing else and will tell her to calm down and that I am welcome in my own home any time that I so desire. Danny says that I need to stand up to her. He doesn't understand that I try but I don't know what else to do. He thinks that I should just tell her to piss off. It would be nice but it doesn't work that way. He doesn't have a sibling of the same sex so he doesn't fully get it. I'm sure that he's watched his sisters fight before but I don't know if their fights have ever been to this extreme.
Danny's mom wants to go out to lunch with me, go to a movie and look at rings. Wow. That's crazy.... I remember Barry's family trying to talk me out of dating him, not to mention marring him. It was sick. I'm staying at his aunt's house in CA and she is trying to get me to break up with him. Something not right with that family. Good thing I got out!
Danny's mom still doesn't want to have a church wedding. I think he said that she would go but that she wouldn't participate. At Connor's celebration of life, at a church, she just sat there and left early even. I know that really hurt Danny. I really don't need to deal or worry with her being upset that she's in a church on my wedding day. It's not about her, it's about us. I guess if it will make things easier we will have to find a much better outdoor venue then the one he used last time. Not a chance in hell am I getting married in the same place that he got married already. That would be sick.
I'm going to go pee and then go to bed. I don't really feel like waiting up for Danny anymore. He said soon half an hour ago so soon it shall be... Goodnight.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Praises to the Father...
So good thing I didn't almost just burn my house down. I accidentally left the oven on at 425 degrees. I guess I was just so excited to have home-made pizza that I just forgot about it. Thinking back on it, I just pulled the pizza out, put it on my plate, cut it into slices then went to my room to eat it. There was no turning off the stove in that sequence of events. Oops!!!
This really spoke to me...
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know You are near
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?
Chorus:
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me
And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth
Chorus:
Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You
Chorus: (2x�s)
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know You are near
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?
Chorus:
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me
And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth
Chorus:
Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You
Chorus: (2x�s)
Never again will my heart turn away from you...
Listening to praise and worship music...have been for about 4 1/2-5 hours. It helped my headache go away and no it is just an uplifting background to my life.
Danny has been over at the Diemer residence since about 7 or so. He has been playing Munchkin with Dan and Wiggles. Rudy was supposed to go over there as well but for some reason I guess he didn't. He just got home and it sounds like they had a great time. I'm so glad.
I I made pizza again for the first time since I burned my hand off.. haha I only made one because I didn't feel like making any for Bryan. I torn my mouth a little on the crust but other than the hurt -free! It was so bomb. I never should have stopped making it, even if I was all blistered up.
This is going to be a short one because my honey just got home and I really want to spend time with him. He's being such a silly butt right now.
Danny has been over at the Diemer residence since about 7 or so. He has been playing Munchkin with Dan and Wiggles. Rudy was supposed to go over there as well but for some reason I guess he didn't. He just got home and it sounds like they had a great time. I'm so glad.
I I made pizza again for the first time since I burned my hand off.. haha I only made one because I didn't feel like making any for Bryan. I torn my mouth a little on the crust but other than the hurt -free! It was so bomb. I never should have stopped making it, even if I was all blistered up.
This is going to be a short one because my honey just got home and I really want to spend time with him. He's being such a silly butt right now.
Monday, August 18, 2008
This is a love song to You, a song of praise to You Lord...
I went to MCC today to see what the deal was with my financial aid. No one had contacted me and the internet wasn't giving me any information either. After an hour of sitting I learn in a 3 minute conversation with a nice woman that I did not qualify for any financial aid at all...Heaven help us.
I won't be able to pay for classes on my own. FAFSA was my safely net. I'm hoping that the fund my mom's aunt set up for me years ago is ready and willing to pay my way, otherwise I'm going to either have to take fewer classes or none at all.
After learning that I was financially unfit I went to the book store to see how badly they were going to steal from me. I wrote down the prices for new and used books-then I took a picture so I could look it up online. Only thing is classes start next week. I need to find out fast if I'm going to be able to pay for these things and then get them!
I can't let the bad things bring me down...this still needs to be a good day. Tomorrow Danny and I are going to go to St. Vinny's to look for a bed and some yarn. Strange combination, I know. If time will allow and Danny doesn't need a nap I would like to go to a few other thrift stores as well. We shall see...
I just got off the phone with mommy and she said she will look into what our options are at the end of the day when all of her kids go home. This will work-- In the name of Jesus!!!
I won't be able to pay for classes on my own. FAFSA was my safely net. I'm hoping that the fund my mom's aunt set up for me years ago is ready and willing to pay my way, otherwise I'm going to either have to take fewer classes or none at all.
After learning that I was financially unfit I went to the book store to see how badly they were going to steal from me. I wrote down the prices for new and used books-then I took a picture so I could look it up online. Only thing is classes start next week. I need to find out fast if I'm going to be able to pay for these things and then get them!
I can't let the bad things bring me down...this still needs to be a good day. Tomorrow Danny and I are going to go to St. Vinny's to look for a bed and some yarn. Strange combination, I know. If time will allow and Danny doesn't need a nap I would like to go to a few other thrift stores as well. We shall see...
I just got off the phone with mommy and she said she will look into what our options are at the end of the day when all of her kids go home. This will work-- In the name of Jesus!!!
This is posion...
I missed the deadline for county fair entries by 3 days. I really should have been paying more attention to the date. It makes me very sad because I was really excited to do it again this year. I had won a few ribbons on some of my pictures last year. What a bummer. I can't let it ruin the rest of my day... it's just begun after all! I hope things pick up soon...
It's called "picture of the day"...
Except for some reason there are two...
I was cleaning and found this really neat scarf that I got from a thrift store in MN. I'm still not completely sure what I am going to do with it but I had fun for about 7 minutes playing.
Side note: I almost spent sure "shure"- bed time, is it?
I like how my eyes practically match every color that is on that dang scarf. Not an easy task- not many people can handle the challenge!
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Where is thubkin where is thumbkin here I am here I am...
How are you today sir, very well and thank you. Run away. Run away.
So I don't think that anyone truly understands how badly I want to have a baby. It's sick. Danny thinks that I'll be a wonderful mother because I have so much love in my heart, but I have my doubts. I don't understand how I could want something so much that I'm not really sure that I want. Does that make sense to anyone? *sigh* I'll just hang my head in shame.............................................
So I don't think that anyone truly understands how badly I want to have a baby. It's sick. Danny thinks that I'll be a wonderful mother because I have so much love in my heart, but I have my doubts. I don't understand how I could want something so much that I'm not really sure that I want. Does that make sense to anyone? *sigh* I'll just hang my head in shame.............................................
I need You...to be here now.
Oy! Where to start........
Danny went to the men's retreat this weekend. He came back so changed it's amazing. I thought that he was a wonderful person to start with but he grew so much while he was up there. He has so much more knowledge than before. He is even more encouraging and uplifting which has been a blessing to us (me) already.
I don't like that he is still playing his rpgs (role playing games). Don't get me wrong, I don't mind that he hangs out with his friends as all it's just that these games are so demonic and his friends curse almost every other word (serious swears not the little ones like damn or shit). I don't think that it is a very great environment for someone who is trying to build themselves up. I know that if I were to ask him to quit playing he would in a second for me (his friend's wouldn't be happy but they'd get over it) but I don't want him to do it because I asked him to. I would much rather he come to that decision on his own because God has put it on his heart and it's something that he wants to do.
School is starting in a week. I feel that I am very unprepared and I can feel a panic attack coming on any day now. I know that I shouldn't be confessing such negative things but I know myself and it's something that I would do. I got my student id card.. it doesn't have my picture on it!!! Does that even make sense??? I need to go in tomorrow to see if I got money to help pay for classes. I'm not sure if I'll be able to pay for them without help. I guess I should have been believing for this a long time ago. Next time I'll know better. I still need to buy my books which I really hope that they still have.
Danny and I were talking today and he is believing that we will be out of the house that we are in now and in our own home by the end of the year if not the begging of next year. Sounds like a good way to bring in the new year. We really need a break from having Bryan around. He causes problems with out a care in the world about it. It's unfortunate that we need him to pay bills, otherwise we would have asked him to leave long ago. Danny doesn't want to leave on bad terms because they have been friends for so long.
I was talking to Danny's mom the other day when he was at the retreat and she said that she was really glad that he was going because he has had the 3 main friends since about 6th grade and he isn't going to grow if he doesn't go out and meet new people and do new things (they have had game night 2-3 times a week for the last 4 or so years). He needs some change in his life. Fortunately for him I'm good for that.
My lovely mother paid for me to get my hair cut and colored which looks amazing...only thing is not one person has said a thing. Not even people I told I was getting my hair done. A bit of a bummer actually. I guess it's not a big deal, it's just nice when people say nice things about you.
I took up knitting while Danny is gone because, well let's face it- I'm an 85 year old woman. Yeah. I know, it's a surprise to all who find out. I've gotten pretty good at the first two steps...but that's about it. I called Danny's mom to see if she knew how to knit but she only knows how to crochet. I told her when I was doing learning how to knit that she would have to teach me how to crochet.
There is so much that I feel needs to be done and that there are not enough hours in the day in which to do it all. Danny says that I am a mighty woman of God and that I can do anything I want. He's sweet. Sometimes he knows just what to say...sometimes not! I know that he does his very best to make sure that I am happy.
I find it funny that Jacci and I had a similar experience. For years she would tell Rudy to wear his seatbelt but he wouldn't. He had to go to traffic school and they told him to wear his seatbelt and now he does. I have been trying to get Danny to do confessions for a few months now and he didn't want to but when he was up at the retreat they had all the men do confessions and now he loves them. I guess sometimes it just takes hearing it from someone else. I had been praying for a few months that he would listen and do them, that's all you can do sometimes.
Danny went to the men's retreat this weekend. He came back so changed it's amazing. I thought that he was a wonderful person to start with but he grew so much while he was up there. He has so much more knowledge than before. He is even more encouraging and uplifting which has been a blessing to us (me) already.
I don't like that he is still playing his rpgs (role playing games). Don't get me wrong, I don't mind that he hangs out with his friends as all it's just that these games are so demonic and his friends curse almost every other word (serious swears not the little ones like damn or shit). I don't think that it is a very great environment for someone who is trying to build themselves up. I know that if I were to ask him to quit playing he would in a second for me (his friend's wouldn't be happy but they'd get over it) but I don't want him to do it because I asked him to. I would much rather he come to that decision on his own because God has put it on his heart and it's something that he wants to do.
School is starting in a week. I feel that I am very unprepared and I can feel a panic attack coming on any day now. I know that I shouldn't be confessing such negative things but I know myself and it's something that I would do. I got my student id card.. it doesn't have my picture on it!!! Does that even make sense??? I need to go in tomorrow to see if I got money to help pay for classes. I'm not sure if I'll be able to pay for them without help. I guess I should have been believing for this a long time ago. Next time I'll know better. I still need to buy my books which I really hope that they still have.
Danny and I were talking today and he is believing that we will be out of the house that we are in now and in our own home by the end of the year if not the begging of next year. Sounds like a good way to bring in the new year. We really need a break from having Bryan around. He causes problems with out a care in the world about it. It's unfortunate that we need him to pay bills, otherwise we would have asked him to leave long ago. Danny doesn't want to leave on bad terms because they have been friends for so long.
I was talking to Danny's mom the other day when he was at the retreat and she said that she was really glad that he was going because he has had the 3 main friends since about 6th grade and he isn't going to grow if he doesn't go out and meet new people and do new things (they have had game night 2-3 times a week for the last 4 or so years). He needs some change in his life. Fortunately for him I'm good for that.
My lovely mother paid for me to get my hair cut and colored which looks amazing...only thing is not one person has said a thing. Not even people I told I was getting my hair done. A bit of a bummer actually. I guess it's not a big deal, it's just nice when people say nice things about you.
I took up knitting while Danny is gone because, well let's face it- I'm an 85 year old woman. Yeah. I know, it's a surprise to all who find out. I've gotten pretty good at the first two steps...but that's about it. I called Danny's mom to see if she knew how to knit but she only knows how to crochet. I told her when I was doing learning how to knit that she would have to teach me how to crochet.
There is so much that I feel needs to be done and that there are not enough hours in the day in which to do it all. Danny says that I am a mighty woman of God and that I can do anything I want. He's sweet. Sometimes he knows just what to say...sometimes not! I know that he does his very best to make sure that I am happy.
I find it funny that Jacci and I had a similar experience. For years she would tell Rudy to wear his seatbelt but he wouldn't. He had to go to traffic school and they told him to wear his seatbelt and now he does. I have been trying to get Danny to do confessions for a few months now and he didn't want to but when he was up at the retreat they had all the men do confessions and now he loves them. I guess sometimes it just takes hearing it from someone else. I had been praying for a few months that he would listen and do them, that's all you can do sometimes.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Confessions:
A sample of some of the note cards that I will be hanging around the place.
God will bless those who bless me and curse those who curse me.
Gen. 12:3God will bless those who bless me and curse those who curse me.
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power
Eph. 6:10
God is my strength and power: and He maketh my way perfect.
2 Sam 22:33
He pardons all my guilt and heals all my suffering.
Bear in mind that our Lord's patience means salvation.
2 Peter 3:15a
I am blessed in Christ.
Gal. 3:9; Gen. 12:2
...for the joy of the Lord is your strength.
Neh. 8:10b
**Untitled**
I got my amazing sign from Jacci today. She is amazing, I must say. We hung it right above our bed. It looks so great. I'm sure that it will look even better when we have a real bed with a frame and all that stuff. I really want to have night stands on either side so I can read in bed. Also when I am going to bed I often have the most random thoughts or ideas that I never remember in the morning. If I feel like it I will get out my phone and write myself a memo but they don't always make sense later. I think that if I were to have a notebook with a pen right next to me when those ideas hit I can quickly write them down and go back to bed.
Danny got his new xbox 360 elite that he is very happy about. He even kissed the console when he took it out of the box. It only came with one controller so the Diemer's let us borrow one for a few days. They are upwards $40-60. I could not believe it. It's even worse the people will pay that too.
I'm going to hang the confessions that I put on note cards at my mom's house up around here. Just not sure where. I wanted to do some on the fridge but I'm not sure if that would make Bryan uncomfortable and I know that Danny's friend's give him a hard time as it is for going to church I don't want to make it worse for him. Then again that could just be the devil trying to get me not to hang them. I don't know. I could always find other places to hang them, I shouldn't have to hid my faith in my own home though. I just had a full argument with myself. Guidance?
I've been reading the bible and I am just so filled by it. Everyone at church is so happy to see me this hungry for the things of God. I've decided to read a book of the bible everyday. I didn't finish today because I was tired and wasn't understanding it very well. There's not much point to reading it all if I don't get anything out of it, so I just put it down for a bit. I can finish up tomorrow with fresh thinking.
I have several questions that I have wrote down to ask anyone that will let me. I had my note book sitting next to me and any time that I didn't understand or had a question about it I would write it down. Jacci was able to help me with a few which was nice.
Danny and I are very excited for him to go to the men's retreat in a couple days. I need to do laundry so he'll having something to wear. Or I could be like Jacci and just leave random things out! I need to think of something very random to add to his stuff so when he opens it up he smiles and thinks "That Kate is so silly. I miss her. She's great. I love her." You get the general idea. I was thinking a rubber ducky I have sitting on my computer might do but I'm not sure if that's wacky enough. Let's hope I get inspiration soon, he leaves on Thursday!
Danny got his new xbox 360 elite that he is very happy about. He even kissed the console when he took it out of the box. It only came with one controller so the Diemer's let us borrow one for a few days. They are upwards $40-60. I could not believe it. It's even worse the people will pay that too.
I'm going to hang the confessions that I put on note cards at my mom's house up around here. Just not sure where. I wanted to do some on the fridge but I'm not sure if that would make Bryan uncomfortable and I know that Danny's friend's give him a hard time as it is for going to church I don't want to make it worse for him. Then again that could just be the devil trying to get me not to hang them. I don't know. I could always find other places to hang them, I shouldn't have to hid my faith in my own home though. I just had a full argument with myself. Guidance?
I've been reading the bible and I am just so filled by it. Everyone at church is so happy to see me this hungry for the things of God. I've decided to read a book of the bible everyday. I didn't finish today because I was tired and wasn't understanding it very well. There's not much point to reading it all if I don't get anything out of it, so I just put it down for a bit. I can finish up tomorrow with fresh thinking.
I have several questions that I have wrote down to ask anyone that will let me. I had my note book sitting next to me and any time that I didn't understand or had a question about it I would write it down. Jacci was able to help me with a few which was nice.
Danny and I are very excited for him to go to the men's retreat in a couple days. I need to do laundry so he'll having something to wear. Or I could be like Jacci and just leave random things out! I need to think of something very random to add to his stuff so when he opens it up he smiles and thinks "That Kate is so silly. I miss her. She's great. I love her." You get the general idea. I was thinking a rubber ducky I have sitting on my computer might do but I'm not sure if that's wacky enough. Let's hope I get inspiration soon, he leaves on Thursday!
Sing it loud..sing it loud and clear...
I have been job hunting on and off for a few months now and thanks to Mr. Dan Diemer I found the perfect job. I emailed the company with a copy of my resume today and got an email response back already, at 7:30 p.m. Only thing is...they have already filled all positions.
I pouted after reading it. I even hid under my desk for about five minutes telling myself how it's unfair that I should have gotten the job, and I would have been perfect for it. Then I realized that I don't have to accept that answer. Just like we are told that we don't have to accept a bad medical report, I don't have to accept not getting this job. Danny and I were believing together that I would get this job and we will continue to do so. We'll just have to believe that either something better will come along or there will be an opening and they will just slip me right in.
Great job that I want:
http://mohave.craigslist.org/lab/751499937.html
God does great things when you are looking the other way. I need to get life in focus.
If you feel so inclined I would not advise you against praying and believing with me, or rather us.
I pouted after reading it. I even hid under my desk for about five minutes telling myself how it's unfair that I should have gotten the job, and I would have been perfect for it. Then I realized that I don't have to accept that answer. Just like we are told that we don't have to accept a bad medical report, I don't have to accept not getting this job. Danny and I were believing together that I would get this job and we will continue to do so. We'll just have to believe that either something better will come along or there will be an opening and they will just slip me right in.
Great job that I want:
http://mohave.craigslist.org/lab/751499937.html
God does great things when you are looking the other way. I need to get life in focus.
If you feel so inclined I would not advise you against praying and believing with me, or rather us.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
There's something in the air tonight, can you feel it coming...
I am looking for a book called The Wedding Dress Diet when I realize that at any moment Danny could look over and see what I am looking at. I don't want him to look over and think that I think that... well you know. It was a book I found when I was searching for images of pregnant brides for my dream board months ago and I saved because I thought that it looked interesting. Gosh. I am looking for a very cheap copy of it. I found of for a few dollars but I don't know what the shipping is going to cost. I need to do some more job searching. Not that I miss working, however I miss having income. Money makes things happen.
We were very blessed today. I was trying to find a way to get a book that we are reading in the women's bible study (Top 10 Qualities of a Great Leader) but I just couldn't and I was very bummed about it. Today was the leadership meeting for anyone who works in the children's ministry which I just happen to do (nursery) and Miss Shelli was hounding me all week about going and she even said that if I went I would get something out of it. Little did we know how literal she meant it. Pastor Traci was up at the front talking when out of no where she asks if anyone there didn't have the book. I raised my hand, she then asked us if she were to buy a copy for us if we would read it. I could not believe it. Such great things that come when you just believe. Jacci was very happy for me as well because I had been telling her about how I wanted it but we couldn't afford it right now. She said that she would let me read hers when she was done, but now I don't have to!
Thanks to the Diemer's I now have lots of blogs to look at during the day. Thanks Alicia!
Time to finish the dishes.. then off to Walmart to buy some groceries and then get dinner started. Very late tonight. We just had a french fry snack but it wasn't very much.
We were very blessed today. I was trying to find a way to get a book that we are reading in the women's bible study (Top 10 Qualities of a Great Leader) but I just couldn't and I was very bummed about it. Today was the leadership meeting for anyone who works in the children's ministry which I just happen to do (nursery) and Miss Shelli was hounding me all week about going and she even said that if I went I would get something out of it. Little did we know how literal she meant it. Pastor Traci was up at the front talking when out of no where she asks if anyone there didn't have the book. I raised my hand, she then asked us if she were to buy a copy for us if we would read it. I could not believe it. Such great things that come when you just believe. Jacci was very happy for me as well because I had been telling her about how I wanted it but we couldn't afford it right now. She said that she would let me read hers when she was done, but now I don't have to!
Thanks to the Diemer's I now have lots of blogs to look at during the day. Thanks Alicia!
Time to finish the dishes.. then off to Walmart to buy some groceries and then get dinner started. Very late tonight. We just had a french fry snack but it wasn't very much.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
When Jesus wakes up He'll tell us what to do.
Danny just told me that when Jesus woke up He would tell us what to do. I love when he talks to me half asleep. He said that Jesus was going to wake up at 5 and tell us what we should do. That He would when we turn our wrists in at the end of the day. So funny!!! We were talking about what we should do, then he fell asleep but still felt like talking.
This too shall pass...
Listening to The Fold. I really want their two cds. I will work at getting them. Actually, I won't. I just lied. I don't have the money or even the resources to get money. I will ask Danny to get them for me eventually.
So tomorrow will be five months that Danny and I will be together. Exciting, right? I'm not. It just makes me think that it has been six months since Connor passed away. I hate that I put the two things together like that but it's true. We got together one month to the day that he left this earth. I don't know if I can celebrate thinking of that poor little boy struggling for his last breath. I can't stand it. I don't know what to do about it.......
It's so difficult to imagine that it has already been six months. It doesn't seem like that long to me. I'm sure that it has been an eternity for Danny. I wish that there was more that I could do for him.
I'm going to wash my feet off and then just lie down. Maybe I can stop thinking for a bit while Danny rubs my feet.
So tomorrow will be five months that Danny and I will be together. Exciting, right? I'm not. It just makes me think that it has been six months since Connor passed away. I hate that I put the two things together like that but it's true. We got together one month to the day that he left this earth. I don't know if I can celebrate thinking of that poor little boy struggling for his last breath. I can't stand it. I don't know what to do about it.......
It's so difficult to imagine that it has already been six months. It doesn't seem like that long to me. I'm sure that it has been an eternity for Danny. I wish that there was more that I could do for him.
I'm going to wash my feet off and then just lie down. Maybe I can stop thinking for a bit while Danny rubs my feet.
.MAYBE.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Leggo my eggo...
I really want this blister gone. Like immediately. For some reason I really want to spell that with an e instead of an i. Crazy. I am so afraid that it is going to pop and it will hurt and be gross everywhere. Not my idea of a fun time.
So I spent the day at the Diemer residence today. It was nice. I went through their dvds and put all the dvds in their proper cases. What a treat! Then we had brownies... finally!!! Gosh Alicia.
I am making an eggo then Danny and I are going to go for our daily walk, only this time we are going to go down to Hastings to see if they have this book that I want. That means that I have to put real shoes on instead of just wearing my flip flops. I don't really like real shoes all that much. I do love peanut butter though. (it's on my desk with a knife because I was eating it straight up last night.) I wonder how peanut butter would taste on an eggo. I may have to do a scientific experiment here............
So I spent the day at the Diemer residence today. It was nice. I went through their dvds and put all the dvds in their proper cases. What a treat! Then we had brownies... finally!!! Gosh Alicia.
I am making an eggo then Danny and I are going to go for our daily walk, only this time we are going to go down to Hastings to see if they have this book that I want. That means that I have to put real shoes on instead of just wearing my flip flops. I don't really like real shoes all that much. I do love peanut butter though. (it's on my desk with a knife because I was eating it straight up last night.) I wonder how peanut butter would taste on an eggo. I may have to do a scientific experiment here............
...and I will give all unto You...
I really want to eat those chocolate chips that are sitting on my desk. Over half the bag is gone already, who's going to miss them besides me? No one! I baked with them and then I snacked on the rest because I did a job well done. I don't want to get fat though. I checked my waist 20 minutes ago and it's not getting any smaller. Thirty-eight inches. Not sure how that happened. No kids to explain it away. Just me. Being fat. A big fat fatty. I hate feeling like this. It's just the hormones I try to tell myself but who am I trying to convince here- me or me?
I ate one of my Smarties. The huge ones that Missy got me. Only one but they are monstrous. I checked the package for nutritional facts. They aren't as bad as I had thought but they certainly aren't good. I feel like I need to brush my teeth now from the sugar.
Had a good day at the Korv residence today. I went there after bible study to pick out colors for the amazing sign that she is going to make me.
Danny went to his new job today and he was pro status at it. He will be making more there than he is at Hastings which is nice. He is going to be working both jobs for a bit so we won't see as much of each other for a while but once we have the money to get the basic things that we want right now then he can go to part time for one and full time for the other. We are so blessed. I am so grateful for him. God has done wonderful things here. I know that he was stressing a lot about money and not being able to make bills on time. I used to be able to help because I had a job but now I don't so I don't have money to help provide for those things. It's nice to have nice things... like food and toilet paper!
That milk chocolate square with caramel filling is looking mighty good right about now... must...resist.... Gah!
I settled on half of a Parmesan and Basil Wheat Thins cracker and 20 Original Wheat Thins crackers. No, I did not count them but it was the last of the little that was left. I feel better.
I really need for my tooth to stop hurting and my eyes to get better. I need a healing!!! I really should be caring around the prayer cloth that I got at the service on Wednesday instead of letting it sit on the kitchen counter healing my kitchen. (If you've ever been in my kitchen you know that it needs healing too!)
Time to spend some quality time with the boyfriend....
<3
I ate one of my Smarties. The huge ones that Missy got me. Only one but they are monstrous. I checked the package for nutritional facts. They aren't as bad as I had thought but they certainly aren't good. I feel like I need to brush my teeth now from the sugar.
Had a good day at the Korv residence today. I went there after bible study to pick out colors for the amazing sign that she is going to make me.
Danny went to his new job today and he was pro status at it. He will be making more there than he is at Hastings which is nice. He is going to be working both jobs for a bit so we won't see as much of each other for a while but once we have the money to get the basic things that we want right now then he can go to part time for one and full time for the other. We are so blessed. I am so grateful for him. God has done wonderful things here. I know that he was stressing a lot about money and not being able to make bills on time. I used to be able to help because I had a job but now I don't so I don't have money to help provide for those things. It's nice to have nice things... like food and toilet paper!
That milk chocolate square with caramel filling is looking mighty good right about now... must...resist.... Gah!
I settled on half of a Parmesan and Basil Wheat Thins cracker and 20 Original Wheat Thins crackers. No, I did not count them but it was the last of the little that was left. I feel better.
I really need for my tooth to stop hurting and my eyes to get better. I need a healing!!! I really should be caring around the prayer cloth that I got at the service on Wednesday instead of letting it sit on the kitchen counter healing my kitchen. (If you've ever been in my kitchen you know that it needs healing too!)
Time to spend some quality time with the boyfriend....
<3
Friday, August 1, 2008
I've got to have more of Your anointing..
So things happened with Kelli and it stinks. When she realized what a complete jerk she was to me we can be friends again. We both said things that we shouldn't have but I have forgiven her in my heart and I want only the best for her.
There was a healing service at church last night. I don't know that I feel healed or not but things aren't going to happen over night. I think that Danny really enjoyed it. I tried to get my dad to go with but he didn't. He did say that he would come with on Sunday and that he would bring my mom!!! They have never come together before. I am very happy about that.
I made pizza from scratch today. It was REALLY good. Danny didn't eat his because he is going to have it for lunch tomorrow. He did have a few bites of mine that I didn't have (obviously???). I liked baking. I told Danny that for Christmas that I would like to have an electric mixer so I don't have to spend as much time and effort kneading the bread. It will be nice.
We are going to play a game or something...spend time together basically. It should be lots of fun.
I am still unsure if I want to take this ASL class because it is on Wednesday. I will be missing the women's bible study and Wednesday night church. I don't know if going only on Sundays will be enough or not. I really need some guidance on this one.
There was a healing service at church last night. I don't know that I feel healed or not but things aren't going to happen over night. I think that Danny really enjoyed it. I tried to get my dad to go with but he didn't. He did say that he would come with on Sunday and that he would bring my mom!!! They have never come together before. I am very happy about that.
I made pizza from scratch today. It was REALLY good. Danny didn't eat his because he is going to have it for lunch tomorrow. He did have a few bites of mine that I didn't have (obviously???). I liked baking. I told Danny that for Christmas that I would like to have an electric mixer so I don't have to spend as much time and effort kneading the bread. It will be nice.
We are going to play a game or something...spend time together basically. It should be lots of fun.
I am still unsure if I want to take this ASL class because it is on Wednesday. I will be missing the women's bible study and Wednesday night church. I don't know if going only on Sundays will be enough or not. I really need some guidance on this one.
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