Are you anything like me? Is it possible all anybody needs is a little more love...

I long for the day when I don't have to hide my food in my room. I had to hide food from my sister and dad at my parent's house, I had to hide food (and toilet paper) at the old house, and now I have to hide my food from Bryan...because he will eat anything that isn't marked with a "K". I know that it sounds easy enough to mark everything "K" but it bugs me and then there would be nothing in the house without a "K". As it stands there are almost no groceries that aren't "K"ed or hidden away in a corner. He doesn't buy groceries. At all. Danny says that it's because he pays half the rent. Good excuse. I can't argue that because I don't contribute much funding. Danny talks about us living on our own as if it were a few months away. Which, with him working two jobs and me trying desperately to find a job that is willing to work around my classes AND church obligations, isn't too far off I suppose. It will be a small place to start off with of course, but it will be our place. Bryan free! I get very excited when I think about it... It's sad but true. It's funny but I think that once we don't live with Bryan the stupid Bryan voice that Danny does sometimes won't bug the living daylights out of me. He does this voice and every time that he does I find it very difficult to control myself, I want to slaughter things, and that's not like me at all. Gah! That man makes me so angry sometimes....

Enough of that angry..and on to another:

I wen to my parent's house to do some laundry because Danny had nothing clean to wear to church. I had planned on doing it after church but with nothing clean to wear I figured that I could just do it a day early. Or so I thought. My sister has got to be one of the most horrible human beings living on God's green earth. She says the most horrible things about me and to me... She told me today that I was brainwashed and that I belonged to a cult. A CULT!!! Can you believe that? I get mad and sad all at the same time. I could have punched her lights out but knowing her she would have called the cops on me and I would have to try to explain how she antagonizes until you feel absolutely helpless, hopeless even. I just kept praying that God would give me serenity and that I wouldn't punch her in the face. She yelled at me and made me feel so unwelcome that I left after one load. I will have to go back there tomorrow while she is at work to finish the rest. Depending on if I wake up in time and if I feel like going over there I might head over and start some before church even. My dad should be back some time tomorrow if nothing else and will tell her to calm down and that I am welcome in my own home any time that I so desire. Danny says that I need to stand up to her. He doesn't understand that I try but I don't know what else to do. He thinks that I should just tell her to piss off. It would be nice but it doesn't work that way. He doesn't have a sibling of the same sex so he doesn't fully get it. I'm sure that he's watched his sisters fight before but I don't know if their fights have ever been to this extreme.

Danny's mom wants to go out to lunch with me, go to a movie and look at rings. Wow. That's crazy.... I remember Barry's family trying to talk me out of dating him, not to mention marring him. It was sick. I'm staying at his aunt's house in CA and she is trying to get me to break up with him. Something not right with that family. Good thing I got out!

Danny's mom still doesn't want to have a church wedding. I think he said that she would go but that she wouldn't participate. At Connor's celebration of life, at a church, she just sat there and left early even. I know that really hurt Danny. I really don't need to deal or worry with her being upset that she's in a church on my wedding day. It's not about her, it's about us. I guess if it will make things easier we will have to find a much better outdoor venue then the one he used last time. Not a chance in hell am I getting married in the same place that he got married already. That would be sick.

I'm going to go pee and then go to bed. I don't really feel like waiting up for Danny anymore. He said soon half an hour ago so soon it shall be... Goodnight.