I'm not really sure why I hit "new post", but I did. I finished my book today so tomorrow I can work on the essay. I should also start on the poem that will be due at the end of the semester. Now that my partner has been deployed to Kuwait without warning I must do it all on my own. Good stuff, eh?
I'm tired of feeling selfish.
I want to cry sometimes but I am so sick of being weak it hurts. I'm an adult and need to act accordingly.
On our walk tonight I wanted to badly to talk to Danny about something but I was also really thirsty and we were so close to the house that I knew if I started talking he would want to keep going instead of going inside. I'm a chicken.
Bock!
I'm really afraid.....................................I'm afraid that when Danny and I have kids he won't love them as much as Connor and that his family will always be comparing my kid to her kid. It's probably crazy but I don't know, maybe it's not. It's really scary though. Not in a "thriller movie" sort of way in a "my husband won't love my kids as much as his deceased son" sort of way.
I probably shouldn't have posted that but oh well...................
Stop being so self-centered!!!
Clearly I am fighting some demons here.............
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1 comment:
That is a honest feeling your having...that is something that comes with marring someone who has been married before. I remember my Mom asking me questions like that before when i was dating this man who had been married and had a son...and would i be able to deal with all that comes with that. I at the time said i could, but now that i am older and somewhat wiser, i see now i don't think i could have being i was only 19 years old. You are a strong Godly woman.
And don't fret, Danny will Adore your children. He will always have a special place is his heart for Conner, But you both are starting your life together and will build new memories together.
Just keep praying and God will give you strength and courage. I love you and am so proud of the growth i see in your life.
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