I have spent a bit of time today looking at craft blogs and instead of them making me feel more inspired to do fun things they make me feel like I am just a big copy-cat with no original thoughts or feelings. Fantastic. That seems to be just what I needed. I hate feeling like I am not me. However I don't know how I can feel like me if I don't know who me is.

I am going to try something for the month of December and hopefully I can stick with it. I would like to take a picture of myself on my cell phone everyday just to see....well just to see I guess.
It might be lame but at the same time it might be not lame. Only one way to find out.

Tomorrow I will post about the epic adventure we had at the hospital Thanksgiving morning. It was such a blast. *snickers*

I'm getting tired but I am going to photo search for a few more minutes-hoping that MD will come home before I got to bed.

Our close call:

Dan and I were trying to sleep Wednesday night when I woke up with severe abdominal pain. It was bad. I wake him and tell him that I am in a lot of pain. He asks me for a number on the scale of 1-10, I couldn't think it hurt so much. He said that we needed to go to the hospital. I didn't really want to so I compromised with him and said that we should call them to see what they think we should do-they are the experts after all. I called Labor and Delivery at 11:44 p.m. and the nurse told me that if the pain is bad enough that I am calling I should come in. Great. I tell Dan and we get dressed to head out. I go to the bathroom because that's what I'm good at these days. Whilst in there I throw up-I throw up a lot. We had people over that night for a BBQ and it was so much fun. The hot dogs I are were Kosher so I know that I wasn't sick from them. Anyway, I throw up my food and it was gross. I tell Dan because he was in the other room and didn't know. I get cleaned up and we head out.

We get there and we go to admitting because there was no one in triage. While signing some papers out friends Heavenly and E.T. show up. She only had 3 weeks left of her pregnancy unlike my 8 weeks so it wasn't a big deal for them. We get up to the maternity ward and they have me change into the sexiest gown ever. They hook up fetal monitors and a blood pressure cuff. They come back every once in a while to see how I am doing. Nurse Ginger tells me that I am having contractions every 2-3 minutes apart and that if worst comes to worst they will be sending me to Phoenix because I am not term yet and they are not equipped to handle preterm babies. Fantastic! They tell me that they are going to give me medicine to stop the contractions. I can have up to three shots of this first one, if that doesn't work then I can have three shots of another one, if that doesn't work then they will have to try something else. Very encouraging as you can imagine. She gives me a shot of tributaline, which is an asthma medication, it is used to relax muscles which in this case was my uterus. It started working so she gave me another one to help the first one along. After a bit more time they stopped and she said that she would check with my doctor but that I will probably be going home soon. Yay.

As we were leaving the nurse told us that we could check in on Heavenly because we are friends and whatnot. We went in and visited with them for a few minutes but didn't stay long because it was so late and we were sleepy. She was having stronger contractions but wasn't dilated very much. They kept her over night but ended up releasing her in the morning because she had no change. Hopefully she will have her little boy soon.

We got home and went to bed (again) just after 2:45 a.m. Thanksgiving morning.

What a time we had. I have 3 pictures that MD took of me:







Didn't I tell you it was a sexy gown???






I don't know why Dan looks so happy-he must be delirious from sleep deprivation.

Don't pretend you ever forgot about me.

I think it's funny that most of my titles are just lyrics from whatever song is playing in my head at the time.

I really want to get some software to practice typing drills. I used to love doing those in high school when I took that typing class. So much fun!

Problem solving time: How do you confront your mother-in-law without being confrontational? Tough one-I know. Trust me I don't like having issues with her anymore that you like listening to them.

She wants the baby to call her "Mam-maw". I don't like it. I don't want her forcing my child to do it. I think that the main reason she wants to be called that is that is what Connor called her. Well my child isn't Connor and I don't want her comparing them or making my child a replacement. My baby is not Connor. My grandma has my cousins calling her "Bunny" which I don't like and think is a bit inappropriate for a child to be calling their grandparent but that's their deal. I told her that we will should just let her see what she wants to call her that maybe she would come up with something funnier/better. I don't call Ann "Bunny" because I call her "Grandma Ann". I guess Dan's grandmothers told him what they wanted to be called. I think that is rude. The one didn't want to be called grandma at all and they just called her by her first name. The other one wanted to be called Grammy. Whatever. I don't want people telling my kid what to do. I tried talking to Dan about it but he said to just let it go. I tried that-trust me. It's not working. The more I try to let it go the more it bugs me. It's really bothering me and I don't know how to tell her that I don't want Evelynn to call her "Mam-maw". I want my daughter to call her what she wants to. Gah. I don't want to offend her but she has her own kids that she told what to do- she won't be telling my kid what to do.


I'm confused as to why his family is getting another dog. Yes it was sad when Roxy died but Dan and I were able to go over there without feeling ill for the rest of the day. We are both allergic to dogs and that means that more than likely the baby will also be allergic to dogs. Which equals us not going over there with the baby and that they can't babysit her at their house. Great stuff.

This blows. There was something else that I was upset about but I am too tired to remember.

If I'm lucky I won't remember it ever and that would be problem solved! Not likely though....

One year.

I can't believe that it has been one year since Barry died.

Just typing that just doesn't seem right. How can Barry be dead? No sense at all. I wonder where he would be right now. What would he be doing? Would he still love being a Marine? I know his family was so proud of him on his graduation day.


Daniel and I went to his grave today. I put some flowers out for him. Even though it has been a year since he was laid to rest there no grass is growing-not even starting too. Thankfully most of the ants are gone but there have not completely disappeared. It makes me sad that people poured beer out on the dirt because nothing can grow in beer-too much acid or salt in it. Tragic really. I am also grateful that there are no beer can or cigarette butts scattered around anymore. It was disgraceful and distasteful. Some people have no respect.

I miss him.

I have not seen Summer in a while but when I did she was so big. Already in school and causing trouble.

I hate that this world is without him.

My day hasn't been as bad as I had thought it would be but it certainly hasn't been good.

I am getting a headache so I am going to drink some more water before I head off to work...

I hope to cheer up tonight when my husband and I have a nice steak dinner-I don't eat steak but I'll eat something else whilst he enjoys his. I may even set some candles up on the table to make it more romantic.