One year.

I can't believe that it has been one year since Barry died.

Just typing that just doesn't seem right. How can Barry be dead? No sense at all. I wonder where he would be right now. What would he be doing? Would he still love being a Marine? I know his family was so proud of him on his graduation day.


Daniel and I went to his grave today. I put some flowers out for him. Even though it has been a year since he was laid to rest there no grass is growing-not even starting too. Thankfully most of the ants are gone but there have not completely disappeared. It makes me sad that people poured beer out on the dirt because nothing can grow in beer-too much acid or salt in it. Tragic really. I am also grateful that there are no beer can or cigarette butts scattered around anymore. It was disgraceful and distasteful. Some people have no respect.

I miss him.

I have not seen Summer in a while but when I did she was so big. Already in school and causing trouble.

I hate that this world is without him.

My day hasn't been as bad as I had thought it would be but it certainly hasn't been good.

I am getting a headache so I am going to drink some more water before I head off to work...

I hope to cheer up tonight when my husband and I have a nice steak dinner-I don't eat steak but I'll eat something else whilst he enjoys his. I may even set some candles up on the table to make it more romantic.